Please Whisper Some Reply
by echosofalullaby
Summary: What if Kurt hadn't been able to say "I love you too," to Blaine? Angsty-Fluff. One-Shot. Spoilers through 2x22.


**A/N: I tried to catch all grammar mistakes but I might have missed some. Just let me know if you catch any! Alright, enjoy, any feedback is welcome! **

* * *

><p>Kurt was rambling. He knew it. But the way Blaine was looking at him across their coffee made him want to go on forever. If talking about Nationals could cause this, he never planned to stop.<p>

"…I mean and the plane ride home was completely silent, no one said a word. We all just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary copies of Sky Mall," he continued happily.

"Wait, I don't get it. You don't seem that sad at all."

Kurt smiled and shrugged, "It was still amazing. I flew in a plane for the first time in my life, I had breakfast at Tiffany's, I sang on a Broadway stage."

He raised his coffee to his lips as Blaine cocked his head slightly. Just as the warm drink hit Kurt's tongue, three simple words seemed to tumble effortlessly from Blaine.

"I love you."

The coffee in Kurt's mouth suddenly seemed very hot. He could feel his eyes widening. He needed to swallow the burning liquid but his body couldn't seem to remember how. Everything was happening in slow motion. His throat unclenched for a moment and he swallowed the coffee. That seemed like a good start. Now all he had to do was put down the cup, look at Blaine, and say it back. Just say it back. Kurt began to lower the cup, "Okay, I'm doing fine. Everything is fine," he thought.

It wasn't though; everything was not fine. Kurt just stared at Blaine, petrified, unable to even remember what he was supposed to say. His body felt cold, frozen. He knew he had to say something, do something, anything. He couldn't take Blaine looking at him like that any longer. He blurted out the only two words he seemed physically capable of forming.

"Thank you."

Ever so slowly, the loving smile fell from Blaine's face and lines of confusion began to etch across his forehead. He dropped his eyes to the half-empty coffee in his hand. After pause that seemed to stretch across eternity, Blaine looked back up. He wore an expression Kurt didn't recognize. It was as if Kurt could see into the very depths of his soul and something that should have been breathtakingly beautiful was absolutely heartbreaking.

"Thank you," Blaine repeated softly.

"Wait, Blaine, I'm sorry. That's not, I mean, I just didn't–"

In the same soft, sad tone, Blaine said, "No, it's okay Kurt."

In that moment, all Kurt wanted was to make the crippled look on Blaine's face disappear. The sadness was so profound he just wanted to take Blaine in his arms and hold him until his Blaine, his happy, strong, perfect Blaine, came back. He wanted to put him back together. But he couldn't, he didn't know how.

"I'm so sorry. I know you're mad. Please just be mad at me."

"Don't apologize, I'm not mad, Kurt."

Silence overtook them. The ice that had filled Kurt's limbs earlier was back. He sat staring at his knees. It was impossible to look at Blaine without being encompassed by an impossible sorrow.

A shaky breath escaped Blaine's lips and Kurt looked up. Blaine seemed to be trying to put together a sentence. "Please yell at me. Please hate me or tell me you never want to see me again," Kurt prayed silently, "Anything would be better than this, anything at all."

But all Blaine said was, "I've got to go."

"Alright," Kurt replied. Why did he say that? It wasn't all right. Nothing was all right anymore.

Blaine glanced at him one more time. His eyes seemed to plead with Kurt. When Kurt remained silent, Blaine rose from the small table. He turned and walked slowly towards the door. Kurt closed his eyes; this wasn't supposed to happen. He couldn't watch Blaine walk out. The bells on the door jingled and Kurt shut his eyes tighter.

Finally, Kurt opened his eyes and braved a glimpse at the doorway. He half expected to see Blaine walking towards him, smiling, and clutching more coffee. But he wasn't. Blaine was gone and Kurt was alone in a sea of strangers.

Kurt was alone.

* * *

><p>Dinner that night was quiet. Burt and Carole could both tell something was wrong but Kurt's one-worded answers weren't giving them a whole lot of information.<p>

"How was school, Kurt?" Carole asked in a concerned tone.

"Alright," came the short reply. He still didn't understand why he kept saying that.

More silence.

Burt took a different approach in the attempt to get Kurt to talk.

"That Karofsky kid, he's not giving you any trouble, is he?"

"No Dad, he's been fine lately."

"And Glee club, everything okay with that?" Burt probed further.

"Yeah."

Eventually, Carole's question hit home.

"How's Blaine?"

Kurt couldn't speak. There was no way he could tell them what happened. Silently, he pushed his plate away.

Already half way out of his chair, he asked to be excused from the table. It didn't come out sounding much like a question. He was leaving whether he was given permission or not. Pretending everything was fine would be almost as painful as admitting it wasn't.

Burt swung into protective father mode immediately, "No way Kurt. You're not going anywhere just yet. What happened? Did he hurt you? Is he pressuring you?"

"No," Kurt chocked out, "Nothing like that. I'm just tired. Nationals really took it out of me."

That wasn't completely a lie. New York had been exhausting. He could feel himself retreating in the direction of the kitchen door, watching the concerned looks on his family's faces. Even Finn's ever-present look of confusion had melted into something as close to worry as he could manage.

Hoping his voice wouldn't betray him, Kurt said, "I'm just going to go to my room. I need to do some extra moisturizing after the stress of Nationals. Stress is a contributing factor to bad skin, incase you didn't know."

Again, not totally a lie. He _was_ stressed. Stressed and sad and about a million other things he refused to feel. He exited the kitchen as calmly as possible.

The second Kurt was out of his family's line of sight, he dropped the calm demeanor and bolted to his room. He flung himself facedown onto his bed. He couldn't decide whether to cry or scream or both.

What was wrong with him? A boy had sat in front of him and said with the utmost sincerity, "I love you."

Kurt had imagined that moment for years. Imagined what it would be like to have someone love him so willingly. Love him without the slightest obligation or ulterior motive. Blaine had done that. When no one else seemed to notice him, Blaine did. He was everything Kurt had ever hoped for. God, what was wrong with him?

Kurt lay there trying to feel nothing at all. He never wanted to feel this much again.

More time passed than Kurt cared to admit before he heard a soft knock from behind him. He sat up abruptly, trying to smooth the wrinkles from his clothes and look as normal as possible before inviting whomever it was in.

He was already contemplating a thousand excuses to avoid a confrontation with his dad.

"Uh come in," he said trying to sound as cheery as possible.

The door inched open and Kurt was surprised to see Finn who appeared to be holding something that looked a lot like warm milk.

"When you didn't show up in my room tonight with this stuff," he said gesturing at the mug, "I thought something might be wrong. I don't really know if I did it right. I just poured some milk in here and stuck it in the microwave. It looks kind of weird."

Kurt smiled in spite of himself. Some things would never change. He walked over to Finn who handed him the mug.

"I usually put a little vanilla, sugar, and nutmeg in with the milk but I'm sure this will be perfect."

Finn looked at him expectantly as if he thought Kurt would tell him everything because of his kind gesture.

"I'm fine, Finn."

The look of perpetual confusion was back.

"I just thought– uh never mind," Finn paused. "Look, Kurt, you know I've got your back, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Okay. I'll just go now."

Kurt hesitated then called softly after him, "Thank you, I really–yeah, thanks."

Finn just waved a hand in response.

Kurt returned to his bed and set the mug on the table to the left. He sat perfectly still on the edge of his bed. He could feel his emotions begin to take hold. Everything he had been feeling all day long was bubbling over and screaming to get out. Then all of a sudden he was crying. He didn't know what triggered it but sheer overwhelming emotion took over. Not even caring that he was still fully clothed, Kurt curled up on his comforter.

He lay like that for some time staring through tear-glazed eyes at the phone he pulled from his pocket. Hoping, praying for a text or call or something, anything from Blaine, just so he would know everything was okay.

Nothing ever came.

He couldn't call Blaine. He still didn't know what to say.

He cried quietly until somehow, he drifted into a restless sleep full of dream snippets containing too-hot coffee and frozen limbs.

* * *

><p>Kurt had three more days left in the school year and they seemed to drag on for an eternity. He tried to be happy. He tried to put on a carefree "summer is almost here" attitude for all his Glee friends. He seemed to manage fairly well because only twice he was asked if anything was wrong.<p>

Rachel seemed to notice something was up after Kurt didn't put up a fight when she announced she would be singing the final solo of the year in Glee. After his reply that everything was fine, she didn't touch the subject again.

Mercedes was slightly more persistent. Though she only actually expressed concern once, she seemed to always be dropping hints or shooting him worried looks.

The last day of school was finally upon him and Kurt still hadn't heard a single thing from Blaine. He kept telling himself that Blaine was probably really busy with exams and didn't have time to talk. Ultimately, he knew that wasn't true. Blaine always made time for Kurt.

Kurt had promised himself if he didn't hear from Blaine by six o'clock that night, he would call him. He just needed to hear Blaine's voice no matter what the outcome of the conversation was.

The school day was drawing to a close and an anxious weight had settled in Kurt's stomach. As each minute ticked by, the probability of Kurt having to make the dreaded phone call became greater. Each minute that he didn't receive a message from Blaine just put him one step closer to having to do it himself.

After the final bell, Kurt headed to clean out the remainder of his locker. He entered the four-digit lock combination and the door swung open. There was the picture of Blaine, smiling down at him like always, reminding him he wasn't alone.

He took the picture down as fast as possible trying not to think about it. A bottle of lotion, two heavy textbooks, and a copy of _Much Ado About Nothing _lay in the bottom of the almost empty locker. He deposited the lotion into his already full bag and swung it over his shoulder. Kurt then gingerly placed Blaine's picture on top of the two textbooks, scooped them up, and shut the locker.

Kurt had taken his time at his locker and the hallways were almost empty now. Most of the students had bolted out the doors the minute the bell rang so Kurt was surprised when he heard someone call his name as he made his way to the deserted parking lot.

He turned to see Dave walking briskly towards him. Even though Kurt fully forgave Dave for all he had put him through earlier that year, he still felt a twinge of fear thinking about the fact they were alone in the hallway.

"Um hey," Dave said awkwardly, stopping in front of him.

"Hey."

"Are you headed to your car?" the taller boy inquired.

Kurt simply nodded.

"Would you mind if I walked with you?"

"No, I wouldn't mind."

They walked in silence for a few steps before curiosity overtook Kurt.

"So, what's up? I know there has to be something else going on. You couldn't just have wanted to walk me to the parking lot."

"Yeah, I mean um no, I mean, uh…I really want you to know how sorry I am, for everything."

Dave's voice sounded so shy and sincere.

"You've already done this. You don't have to again. I know you're sorry and I forgive you. I honestly forgive you," Kurt kindly replied.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. I want you to know how sorry I am. Kurt, just because you forgive me doesn't mean I forgive myself. Every time I see you, I see how much pained I caused and it kills me."

They were almost to the parking lot now and Kurt didn't quite now how to respond. Just as rounded the final corner before the lot, Kurt turned abruptly to face Dave. Dave didn't seem to want to meet Kurt's eyes.

"David, look at me because you need to hear this. You are going to have to forgive yourself eventually. It's the only way we can both move forward from this. You were confused and scared. While that doesn't make what you did right, it makes it understandable. You are not a bad person. You have to forgive yourself and you have to accept yourself. It's the only way you will ever be happy."

Dave seemed to be rendered speechless. He stared at Kurt for a long time before saying a simple sentence.

"Thank you."

It amazed Kurt that the two words he had regretted saying all week could be so profound and perfect in a different context.

Kurt gently placed his books and bag on the ground next to him and did something neither boy expected.

He reached up and hugged Dave trying to convey all the forgiveness and acceptance in one touch. Dave stiffened at first but then relaxed and eventually wrapped his arms around Kurt hugging him back.

"You've made so much progress this year," Kurt whispered, "Please don't forget it."

Dave made a noise as if he was about to say something but suddenly he stiffened again, dropped his arms, and stepped away from Kurt.

"What's wrong?"

"Kurt, um you might want to turn around."

Confused, Kurt turned. There, standing in the middle of the parking lot, was Blaine.

Blaine was staring at the pair looking like a lost, hurt puppy. He started to back away.

Blaine spoke softly as he retreated though his voice somehow carried across the parking lot.

"I came to say sorry, Kurt. I came to tell you I put you on the spot and I shouldn't have. I came to say I don't care if you can't say it because I know how I feel and I want you no matter what," Blaine paused catching his breath, "But now, now I see why you couldn't say it. I saw how you looked at him Kurt, and I can't take that. I can't take you looking at someone else like that."

Blaine turned his back to the boys and began to walk away.

The voice in Kurt's head screamed at him to make Blaine stop. It told him to do anything to make Blaine stop. Finally, his brain seemed to connect with his mouth.

"Blaine! Wait! Please stop! Don't go, God Blaine please don't go!"

Blaine slowed but didn't turn.

"It's not like that! Blaine, I promise you, all I feel for him is friendship and compassion."

Still no response from Blaine. Kurt began to chase after him.

"Blaine just please, please stop!

Finally Blaine whipped around. They were within ten feet of each other now.

"Why, Kurt? Why should I stop?"

Without even stopping to think, Kurt shouted, "Because I love you!"

It took a moment for Blaine to comprehend, but when he did, he looked utterly shocked.

Kurt couldn't stop though, he had to say it all, everything he felt. "Blaine, I have loved you from the second I saw you. I love you so much and I don't know why I couldn't tell you. No, sorry that's not true. I do know why. I was scared. I was so scared because every time I put myself out there, I get hurt. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't be with you. I can't lose you, Blaine. I love you too much. I was scared because I have never felt this much before. I love you so much it scares me. I love you Blaine, please hear that."

Blaine stood motionless for a second before jolting forward and quickly crossing the distance between them. All at once, Blaine lips were on his and he was kissing him with such urgency Kurt felt like the world might just end if he stopped. And Kurt was kissing him back. Kurt was kissing him back with the same urgency, the same intensity, so Blaine would know that every word he said was true.

Eventually, Blaine broke the kiss. Still impossibly close to Kurt, Blaine looked him directly in the eyes and whispered, "I will never stop loving you, Kurt Hummel."

Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt again. This kiss was different. Soft, tender, incredibly loving. Then Kurt realized something. That kiss, Blaine's words, the look in his eyes when he spoke, it had mended something deep inside. Something he hadn't even realized was broken. For the first time in years, Kurt felt safe, he felt whole, and suddenly, he wasn't scared anymore.


End file.
